Pink Think: “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson
illustration by David Castillo Dominici on freedigitalphotos.net
I was sitting with the family and I thought, with a little pang of guilt that I haven’t been able to give my kids things that other moms have. Trips abroad, mainly.
I don’t really deserve to gripe, but I still feel sad that when my daughter says she wants to go visit my sister in Ireland, I can’t just say, “Well, let’s go then, shall we?”
I think about our Christmas list and wonder if we’ll have enough without going into credit card debt. Still, the fact we have a house we haven’t defaulted our mortgage on, and three cars in the driveway, food in our fridge, and heat in the winter – we are better off than some people.
It’s hard to remember this when I tell my 16 year old that so-and-so has been to this-country- and-that, and a light in her eyes burns. Admiration and envy, and every emotion in between.
Someday I will make a list of the intangible blessings. But today my brain isn’t cooperating. My heart wants to believe there’s good in the world from my decision to stay home with the kids. That I did the right thing recently not applying for certain full-time jobs because if I get any of them, I will not be able to send my kids off to school, greet them when they get home, take them to piano lessons, and be there for them when they need me during the day.
Earlier in the week, I hugged my youngest and asked her half-jokingly if it was worth it to her that I was a stay-at-home-mom even though I couldn’t get her a fill-in-the-blank. She gave me this funny look, not really answering (I didn’t really expect one) and let me hug and kiss her, then ran off.
I hope my kids realize that even without the trips to Ireland, they have a mom that loves them very much.
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Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friends! What blessings are YOU grateful for?
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