Pink Think: “Young alienation, disappointment and heartache is all a part of the first real growing up that we do.” – Judd Nelson
photo by Janet Leadbeater on flickr
When I was 15, the summer between high school graduation and college, I went on a trip with some girlfriends to my friend’s ancestral home in northern Philippines. It was my first time away from home.
For a couple of weeks, we flirted with boys who were home for the summer. We stayed up and shared secrets. We played cards. We swam at the beach. We went to a carnival. We could have just stared at a spot on the wall and it would still have been fun. I remember that trip as one of the highlights of my teenage years.
***
I think of this summer trip now as my heart aches for my oldest daughter, who is 14. Early in the year, her school put out information about a trip to DC over spring break (this week). She didn’t take an envelope home then because she thought our family couldn’t afford both a DC trip and a trip for her to Breyerfest in Kentucky this July. Her three close friends signed up for it.
As the trip got nearer and nearer, my daughter tried really hard to be happy for her friends, even though I could tell she was feeling left out. I didn’t think it was a BIG deal until this past Friday, when she asked me, “If I had gone to DC, would I still have been able to go to Kentucky?” I told her, “Probably.” Her face fell and regret was clearly written on it.
***
While she was at a science competition the next day (her friends had all flown out to DC that morning), a germ of an idea formed in my head. I made a few phone calls to find out if I could still have her catch up with the group, lining up a friend who was willing to pick her up at the airport and take her where she needs to be. After the competition, I told my daughter about my attempts to get her on the trip. She gave me a trembling, hopeful smile.
I wish I could say there is a happy ending to this story.
Eventually, the tour group operator advised me on the phone that it really wasn’t going to work, not with having to get her on the itinerary for several reservations-only stops at such short notice. I finally conceded and hung up.
I watched as the hope on my daughter’s face dissolved into fat tears.
***
Even though part of me knew it was a crazy proposition – we’d have had to spend $1,000 on last-minute airfare alone, and maybe another $1400 for the tour, not to mention my husband is away in the boonies helping at a sled dog race and so I hadn’t consulted him yet -I wished I could have pulled off a miracle and put her on a direct flight to DC to meet up with her school group.
We both cried as I told her – no, promised her, that if there was ever anything like this that was at all humanly possible for us to help her with, I would do what I can. I told her I knew how disappointing it was to not be able to go. I told her how hard it will be to have her friends come back with memories that she would not share.
She’s a good kid with a strong spirit. I know she will weather this disappointment. But I still wish I could have shielded her from it.
Follow