Pink Think: “I love writing. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.” Peter de Vries
I have Aprilynne Pike to thank for this post.
She doesn’t even know I exist, in all probability (make that VERY HIGH probability; I mean, I have left comments on her blog, but that doesn’t count for much). She has a debut novel coming out in 2009 called Autumn Wings and you can read about it in her blog here.
She’s 26 and she’s been at this business of writing fiction for a long time (what I gathered reading her blog). She’s represented by Jodi Reamer of Writer’s House (yes, THE Jodi Reamer, agent of Stephenie Meyer) and just returned from New York to meet her publishing team.
I want to say I’m not envious but that would be lying (even though the way she describes her journey to publication, she certainly did not get this success handed to her on a silver platter; she had to work hard for it, and how!).
I want to say that I write SOLELY for art and self-expression (none of this other stuff like book signings and speeches and my name in the papers), but that would also be lying.
Aprilynne Pike seems to have it all — the art and the fame. (I can already hear my husband scolding me: “It only SEEMS as though other people have it all together.” So if in the very slim chance Aprilynne, you read this post, kindly disabuse him of this notion. Tell him please what a perfect life you lead.)
It’s making me question why I even write. What do I really want to get out of all this? Why do I try to squeeze time away from my family so I could write? Why am I so OBSESSED with it?
Is it fame, fortune…what is it?
This is why.
To me, the sweetest moment reading a book is to feel a lump in my throat and RELATE to something the author writes about: when I laugh, or cry, or remember, yes, that is how it was like for me when I was 14 and falling in love for the first time, or when I was 15 and I was boarding a plane for the first time to go to the States and didn’t even have time to say a proper goodbye to my father. I mean, the books I read and my life story aren’t the SAME, but the emotions are the same.
So on one hand, I want my stories to resonate with others. I want to share a story that people will love and remember.
And then there’s the other side of me, the stage persona, if you will. You’ll probably think I’m pretty shallow, but true confession time…
I love seeing my byline, even if it’s in a small-market magazine that my friends don’t read, let alone have heard of. I fantasize about my name being on a book cover. I would love to be on the other side of the couch, being interviewed, instead of me interviewing someone. Most of all, I want to EARN money from getting published. Gosh, if only to cover all the paper I use up! I want to declare a profit on my next tax return at the least, or, if I get lucky, to have money to buy a pink jeep Rubicon, pay $650 for a trail ride in Moab (like my daughter has been wishing we could) and travel to Spain and Ireland.
THAT part, the fame and fortune stuff, is so distracting. The minutiae, the legwork that seems involved in getting published is daunting, if not downright discouraging.
I told my husband that I was sure the cavemen had it easier. They could just write novels and not have to worry about websites or blogs of novelists to compare themselves with.
“And look at all the books they left behind,” he said.
Funny thing is, they did have “books.” All those cave writings live on.
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🙂 your post reminds me of a quote i have posted here over my work-desk:
“The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf”
Course, i can relate to you on both sides. I have to keep forcing the anticipated excitment of one day seeing in print OUT of my mind, so i can focus on the enjoyment and art of expression. 🙂 Otherwise, I get it all messed up.
Hey Jewel!
Thanks to Google alerts, I officially know you exist. *laugh* I do have to confirm what you told your husband; I do have it all. *snerk* However, like you said, it is a LOT of work to get there for most people. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I am amazed at my luck every single day. It wasn’t that long ago that I was right in your should. Obsessed about being published, feeling like everyone else was passing me by. Keep your chin up. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t, but you’ll never know unless you try as hard as you can. And it sounds like that is what you are doing.:)
And yes, the business of writing is SO distracting!!!
Aprilynne
Oh Jewel, I feel so much the same way!
Paulette, funny quote. I’ll have to remember that. It’s hard to in the wee hours of the morning when the brain is half-functioning. Come to think of it, it’s hard to remember most times of the day. The functioning part is always questionable.
Aprilynne, nice to meet you 🙂 Thanks for the pick-me-up. I signed up for the July “Writing for Charity” Conference and I am looking forward to meeting and hearing from you then.
To my darling husband, told ‘ya!:-)
(though in penance for indulging in the e-word I promise to post about counting my blessings and all that, LOL)
Shanna, I hear you! Welcome back.
I can so relate to what you are saying. Why do we feel so compelled to write? And why the need to be published? I do not know. I wish I did. If you figure it out, let me know.
When we figure this out Shari, let’s write a book about it :-).
Its hard to decide sometimes why we write, but I think you hit it on. Write becasue you love it, and then let the publishing take second stage.
True, true. Thank goodness for blogs. With them, we can achieve both with one fell swoop: write something we enjoy, and get readership.
I am still amazed that this technology is FREE.
;O nice blog! I also have one, http://www.trierer.blogg.se. It’s in English but actually I live in Sweden^^
=)
Leo
Welcome Leo, and thanks!